In a shameless attempt to generate more page views, each month or so I will link to some of the best posts on Living with Balls. These are a combination of the most popular posts and my personal favorites.

With my wedding and subsequent honeymoon in July, there have been fewer posts to choose from than usual. There were only 11 posts combined between July and August. However, there were still a few notable ones. Here they are….

The Cheat List

10 Things I Learned About Weddings from My Wedding

Strippers: The True Victims of a Bad Economy

Negative Commenters Be Warned: You Can’t Win

It was announced today that rookie phenom Stephen Strasburg of the Washington Nationals will need Tommy John surgery and will be out of baseball until 2012. This isn’t funny. It’s actually pretty unfortunate for any fan of major league baseball.

What is funny are the number of brilliant tweets, making fun of Rob Dibble for criticizing Stephen Strasburg’s toughness.

For those of you who don’t know, Rob Dibble—a former pitcher for the Reds in the 90’s—recently criticized Strasburg after he exited his last start with pain in his forearm. Here’s what he said:

“Okay, you throw a pitch, it bothers your arm, and you immediately call out the manager and the trainer? Suck it up, kid. This is your profession. You chose to be a baseball player. You can’t have the cavalry come in and save your butt every time you feel a little stiff shoulder, sore elbow…. Stop crying, go out there and pitch. Period. You need to know the difference between pain and injury. When I was 12, my arm hurt. When I was in my teens and I would throw and walk off the mound when I was a starter, my arm would throb. I couldn’t even hold a glass of water. And you know what? I loved it. I was so sick, I loved it, ’cause I felt okay, I’m throwing hard enough to make my arm shake when I’m just standing there.’ So I was a totally different animal than I think has been created here with Strasburg, where now you’re telling this kid as soon as you feel any arm pain, call us and we’ll come help you. Please.”

Now Dibble is forced to take his foot and plant it firmly in his mouth.  It’s times like this that I truly love Twitter.  So many great tweets have come out this morning.  Here are some of the best I’ve found. (more…)

If you talk to any blogger about how to handle negative comments, you’ll likely get a variety of answers on how to deal with them.  I’ve been victim a number of nasty comments over the past year or so.  When I first came across a negative comment, I wasn’t sure how to handle it so I consulted ProBlogger.com, which is probably the most trusted source for advice on blogging.  Here’s what they said:

“When someone comes by & tells you your blog sucks, you suck, your dog sucks & man, has anyone ever told you you suck?, don’t take the bait! Most of the time, these are just bitter people looking for a fight. It’s just like with bullies in school — all they want is a reaction. So don’t give it to them. There is nothing more infuriating than going out of your way to annoy someone & getting no response. They will fume like mad, & might have another go, but then they will go away. The game gets old. & you can do a little celebratory dance in your living room.”—Darren Rowse-ProBlogger

This is good advice and I should probably follow it. But I’m not going to.  Instead, I’m going to take a much different approach.  My approach is to do my best to EMBARRASS YOU.    (more…)

I was attending a friend’s bachelor party recently, and like many bachelor parties, there were strippers involved. As expected, a naked woman eventually approached me, bent over in front of me and shook her bare ass in front of my face. Naturally, I milked this for as long as possible before placing a crisp dollar bill inside her g-string as a token of my appreciation.

As I wedged the dollar bill in between her underwear and her ass, something suddenly occured to me: STRIPPERS ARE UNDERPAID.

How did I come to this realization? Allow me to explain:

Since the beginning of strip clubs, strippers have been paid in dollar bills. The years have come and gone and little has changed. Inflation has gradually weakened the dollar and increased the cost of living, yet strippers continue to be paid in dollar bills. (more…)

August can be a depressing month for a lot of people.  The summer is winding down, which means the warmer weather will leave us soon and many of us will be heading back to work or school shortly.  But if there’s one thing to get excited about in August—at least from a man’s point of view—it’s your fantasy football draft.

Sadly, throughout the years, there are few things that I anticipate more than my fantasy football draft.  Every year I prepare more for my draft than I probably did for my GMAT, SAT and every final I ever took in college.  I leave no stone unturned.  I read up on ESPN.com during my lunch break and comb through fantasy football magazines when I sit on the toilet.  My hard work has paid off as I have become the most decorated manager in my league, winning three times in seven years…and yes, my Mother is very proud.

Now today, I give you my keys to my success…. (more…)

Saturday, August 7, 2010, 6:58 pm EST, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Owen: This weekend is gonna be awesome Joey! A weekend in Philly, tickets to see Mets/ Phillies at Citizens Bank Park. Hopefully, we’ll see a Mets W and then we’ll drink our face off and maybe even bang a broad on Broad Street. I’m fuckin’ pumped!

Joey: Fat chance of that happenin’ brah. I can’t believe you convinced me to book this trip back in April. What da fuck was I thinkin’ brah? A Mets/ Phillies series in August? I should have known by now the Mets would be well on their way to another dissapointin’ season and deez fuckin’ Phillies would be heatin’ up just in time to shit all ovah the Mets once again…oh and you ain’t gettin’ laid either.

Owen: Whatever man. Mets aren’t done yet. And if they lose—at least we had an excuse to get away for the weekend and have a good time.

Joey: Fuck dat shit. This ain’t a weekend getaway! I feel dirty just being in this shithole of a city. Ya got any hand sanitizer?

Owen: I don’t. Sorry. Let’s just get to our seats. The games about to start. (more…)

Once again, I’ve hidden a picture of an attractive woman deep within this post. This woman has very round, wonderful fake breasts. But you must read through these great links first to see her.
Funny Ghetto Rig Picture Gallery Muff Slap

Shotgunning 16 Beers for your Saturday Campus Socialite

13 Tips for Enjoying Poker Art of Manliness

Flat Earth Society: Lame Conspiracy Organization The Lamest

7 Sexy Social Networking Pick Up Tips SoCal Glamour Girls

Saved by the Bell: A Rod Belding Retrospective Just a Guy Thing

How Single Guys Use Post-Its Regretful Morning

Kenny Powers Gets Signed by K-Swiss Funny or Die

Enjoy this picture…. (more…)

A couple weeks have passed since my wedding day and the craziness is finally behind me. Now that I’ve had time to reflect on the whirlwind that was the past few months of my life, I’ve realized I’ve learned a whole lot. Now I will pass on what I’ve learned about weddings, both from the Bride and Groom’s perspective and from a guest’s perspective to you.

ADVICE FOR THE BRIDE AND GROOM

1. When it comes to gifts, some are extremely generous, some are unbelievably cheap and some are just plain weird.

2. Don’t waste all your money (or in my case, her father’s money) on an extravagant cocktail hour. You’ll likely be taking pictures the entire time and chances are you won’t even make it there. Don’t spend the $8 per person charge for the chocolate fountain because you probably won’t get a taste. (more…)