I was attending a friend’s bachelor party recently, and like many bachelor parties, there were strippers involved. As expected, a naked woman eventually approached me, bent over in front of me and shook her bare ass in front of my face. Naturally, I milked this for as long as possible before placing a crisp dollar bill inside her g-string as a token of my appreciation.

As I wedged the dollar bill in between her underwear and her ass, something suddenly occured to me: STRIPPERS ARE UNDERPAID.

How did I come to this realization? Allow me to explain:

Since the beginning of strip clubs, strippers have been paid in dollar bills. The years have come and gone and little has changed. Inflation has gradually weakened the dollar and increased the cost of living, yet strippers continue to be paid in dollar bills. (more…)

Going on a job interview is never a fun experience.  It can be nerve-wracking, stressful and full of pressure.  Most people are forced to resort to lying during interviews because telling the truth would reveal quite a few flaws.  On the other side, the interviewer usually ask a number of bogus questions that are either totally irrelevant or require a response that will be a complete lie.

In this post, I will be listing a number of bullshit questions and answers. You’ll hear why it’s a stupid question, the bullshit response most people probably give, as well as the response most people are thinking but don’t actually say.

1. What is Your Greatest Weakness?
This is the king of bullshit questions at a job interview.  In the history of job interviews, not a single person has ever told the truth.  It’s a totally pointless question to ask because no one would ever give a straight answer. No one is going to be honest about their flaws on a job interview because that would severely hurt their chances of getting the job.  You’re always told to say some crap you can turn into a strength such as…

What You Probably Said: I often push myself too hard.  I don’t know how to balance my life because I’m a workaholic.  I’m a perfectionist who has trouble accepting failure.

What You Were Really Thinking: Well let’s see. I’m really lazy.  I usually stroll in to work at least 15 minutes late. I take long lunches and talk bad about my co-workers behind their backs. I am not willing to go the extra mile and I’ll spend most of my day going on Facebook and making personal phone calls.  (more…)

This is a post from new contributor known only as Oobtastic. He will likely contribute from time-to-time.

We all know the economy is in a shambles. One in ten people that want work can’t find a job. The government passed a $700B stimulus package to create jobs, but where are they?

There is another, more troubling crisis plaguing our country: Actors are squandering any artistic credibility they have by doing shampoo commercials and voice over work for credit card companies.

I have a plan that will solve BOTH important crises. It’s a piece of legislation, called the “Helping Americans Land Jobs in Television” Act, or HALJIT (every good piece of legislation needs an irritating acronym).

How would this bill work? It’s simple – it would prohibit actors, musicians, professional athletes and other celebrities from doing advertising work, while at the same time mandating that unemployed machinists, truckers, carpenters, and road pavers be given those jobs instead.

“Whoa, there, wait a minute,” you might say. “I don’t know if I’m comfortable with this.”

This is a natural reaction. But after reading this simple overview, you will be eager to press your Congressional representatives into supporting this legislation. (more…)

It seems like every day there is some new big product or service out there that promises to be the next big thing.  Sometimes these products take off, sometimes they don’t.  Sometimes these products do well despite the fact they have no practical use for any logical human being on the planet Earth.  Here are six of those products. 

The Coors Light Cold Activated Can
You know, I’ve always wondered when my beer was cold.  The idea of just touching the bottle to see if it’s cold never occurred to me.  THANK GOD Coors Light found a way to distract people from that piss they call beer with the Coors Light “Cold Activated” can. The mountains turn blue when your beer is cold! AWESOME!  Now I’ll never have to ponder for hours if my cheap beer is ready for drinking. THANK YOU COORS LIGHT! (more…)

This is the second part of a two-part series called Engagement Ring Buying Guide. In the first section, I discussed what you need to do before and after you buy the ring. Today, I’ll get into the specifics of finding a good ring and getting the most for your money.

Everything you need to know pretty much boils down to the 4 C’s. (more…)

It’s the holiday season, which means there are probably a lot of poor bastards out there who are thinking of proposing to their girlfriend.  If you are one of those guys, be sure to read this engagement ring guide.  As someone who has gone through the process of buying an engagement ring—and now a wedding ring—I can say I have learned a lot.

Today, I’ll focus on what you need to know before and after you buy the ring.  A few days from now, I’ll get into the specifics of finding a good ring such as the 4 C’s, how much to spend, and what features to avoid. (more…)

In these tough economic times, we have to watch every penny we spend. Prices are increasing, yet our salaries remain the same. Despite the downturn, I recently achieved the dream of bloggers everywhere and moved out of my mom’s basement, only to be slapped in the face by the hard hand of reality. Paying bills blows. All of a sudden I’m forced to spend my hard-earned money towards groceries, electric bills and other boring crap. As my fiancé will attest to, I was already cheap before I moved out. Now I’m even cheaper.  Since moving out,  I’ve found new and unique ways to save money. Now I share my secrets with you. (more…)