It was announced today that rookie phenom Stephen Strasburg of the Washington Nationals will need Tommy John surgery and will be out of baseball until 2012. This isn’t funny. It’s actually pretty unfortunate for any fan of major league baseball.

What is funny are the number of brilliant tweets, making fun of Rob Dibble for criticizing Stephen Strasburg’s toughness.

For those of you who don’t know, Rob Dibble—a former pitcher for the Reds in the 90’s—recently criticized Strasburg after he exited his last start with pain in his forearm. Here’s what he said:

“Okay, you throw a pitch, it bothers your arm, and you immediately call out the manager and the trainer? Suck it up, kid. This is your profession. You chose to be a baseball player. You can’t have the cavalry come in and save your butt every time you feel a little stiff shoulder, sore elbow…. Stop crying, go out there and pitch. Period. You need to know the difference between pain and injury. When I was 12, my arm hurt. When I was in my teens and I would throw and walk off the mound when I was a starter, my arm would throb. I couldn’t even hold a glass of water. And you know what? I loved it. I was so sick, I loved it, ’cause I felt okay, I’m throwing hard enough to make my arm shake when I’m just standing there.’ So I was a totally different animal than I think has been created here with Strasburg, where now you’re telling this kid as soon as you feel any arm pain, call us and we’ll come help you. Please.”

Now Dibble is forced to take his foot and plant it firmly in his mouth.  It’s times like this that I truly love Twitter.  So many great tweets have come out this morning.  Here are some of the best I’ve found. (more…)

August can be a depressing month for a lot of people.  The summer is winding down, which means the warmer weather will leave us soon and many of us will be heading back to work or school shortly.  But if there’s one thing to get excited about in August—at least from a man’s point of view—it’s your fantasy football draft.

Sadly, throughout the years, there are few things that I anticipate more than my fantasy football draft.  Every year I prepare more for my draft than I probably did for my GMAT, SAT and every final I ever took in college.  I leave no stone unturned.  I read up on ESPN.com during my lunch break and comb through fantasy football magazines when I sit on the toilet.  My hard work has paid off as I have become the most decorated manager in my league, winning three times in seven years…and yes, my Mother is very proud.

Now today, I give you my keys to my success…. (more…)

Saturday, August 7, 2010, 6:58 pm EST, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Owen: This weekend is gonna be awesome Joey! A weekend in Philly, tickets to see Mets/ Phillies at Citizens Bank Park. Hopefully, we’ll see a Mets W and then we’ll drink our face off and maybe even bang a broad on Broad Street. I’m fuckin’ pumped!

Joey: Fat chance of that happenin’ brah. I can’t believe you convinced me to book this trip back in April. What da fuck was I thinkin’ brah? A Mets/ Phillies series in August? I should have known by now the Mets would be well on their way to another dissapointin’ season and deez fuckin’ Phillies would be heatin’ up just in time to shit all ovah the Mets once again…oh and you ain’t gettin’ laid either.

Owen: Whatever man. Mets aren’t done yet. And if they lose—at least we had an excuse to get away for the weekend and have a good time.

Joey: Fuck dat shit. This ain’t a weekend getaway! I feel dirty just being in this shithole of a city. Ya got any hand sanitizer?

Owen: I don’t. Sorry. Let’s just get to our seats. The games about to start. (more…)

So the USA lost a tough match to Ghana this past weekend in the knockout round of the 2010 World Cup. Only in soccer can a third-world nation like Ghana beat a powerhouse like the United States. Ghana probably couldn’t beat the USA in a game of Tic-Tac-Toe, but somehow they beat us in soccer.

The reason for this: The vast majority of us Americans don’t give a shit about soccer.
Sure we get a little excited for one month every four years, when the World Cup comes around. We go out and be nice little capitalists. We buy Landon Donovan jerseys and drink at 9:30 am at our local bar when the game is on. We curse at the referees for calling off-sides (even though we’re not quite sure how off-sides works in soccer. Why is there no blue line?), and we don’t understand why they don’t just stop the clock when the ball goes out of bounds.

But once the World Cup is over, we’ll go back to our American football and baseball and we’ll make fun of people for watching the MLS. Soccer won’t even enter our thought process again until the next time David Beckham is on TMZ. Even yesterday, with the World Cup in full swing, SportsCenter led with the Tampa Bay Rays/ Arizona Diamondbacks game. (more…)

June 8^th, 2010, 9:00 pm—Joey’s Apartment: Bellerose, New York

(phone rings)

Joey: (watching Mets Game) C’mon Francouer! Ya piece-a-shit!

(phone rings)

Joey: Hello?

Owen: Joey! What’s up ya guinea bastard!?

Joey: Just watchin’ deez fuckin’ shitty Mets, ya dumb Irish prick.

Owen: Shitty? Things are looking good! We are just 2.5 games out of first. We look unstoppable at Citi Field right now!

Joey: yeah yeah, They can’t fuckin win on da road though!  They’ll never go anywhere if they don’t’ win on da road!…And dis piece-a-shit Reyes! When is dis bum gonna start fuckin’ hitting? He’s battin’ Two-Fowty!

Owen: yeaaaah, he’ll get it together though.  Give him some time.

Joey: Nah, he’s a fuckin canca in the clubhouse! That’s the problem with dis’ fuckin’ team.  We need some team chemistry! We got all these fuckin’ Mexicans on the team, doing dances every time they hit the ball or pointin’ to da sky every time they strike someone out! Dees bastahds should be cuttin’ my fuckin’ lahwn!

Owen: Jose Reyes is from the Dominican Republic

Joey: Same fuckin’ shit! Omah Minaya is fuckin’ racist! We need more white guys on da team!

(David Wright strikes out) (more…)

In the world of sports, commentators, writers and other members of the media like to throw around all sorts of overused sports terms. Since many members of the media often have a close relationship with the players, they have to choose their words carefully when they criticize them in the newspaper or on a broadcast.

Over the years, several critical sports terms have become mainstream. These politically-correct terms usually hide some type of flaw in the player’s game. Here are a few examples.

Game Manager

A term given often given to a mediocre quarterback who happens to play on a team with good defense and a strong running game. Typically it’s someone who throws like a girl, can’t hit receivers downfield, but rarely gets picked off. It usually takes him 20 plays to execute a scoring drive because he can’t throw the ball effectively on passes more than five yards.

The media may say something like: “The Miami Dolphins have a great running game and a solid defense. If Chad Pennington can just manage the game, I like their chances of coming out with the victory this Sunday.”

Translation: “The Dolphins have a great rushing attack and their defense may even score some points for them. If Pennington can just hand the ball off to Ronnie Brown and not throw the ball to the other team four times, then they should probably win this game 9-7. (more…)

The Kentucky Derby is famous for being the fastest two minutes in sports. Perhaps it’s even more famous for the drunken escapades that take place in the infield. One tradition that seems to be growing over the years is the drunken port-a-potty run. In honor of this weekend’s Kentucky Derby, here are some great moments in the Kentucky Derby Port-a-Potty runs.

Guy in his Underwear Makes the Run (more…)

Today, we have our first solo post from Don Valdez, AKA DV from the 24 Mockery feature…

Why am I a Mets fan?  When I was about four years old my father threw me a bag and said if you catch this you get to keep what’s inside.  I dropped the bag twice.  On the third time I did catch the bag and inside was a Mets hat.

162 days out of the year I ask myself… Why I did I accept this gift when I clearly dropped the bag twice?   The baseball gods were clearly trying to help me out.  Alas, I ignored their signs.  And here I am.

Were there good times?  Of course there were good times.   Were there bad times?  No.  Simply saying there were bad times would be a horrific understatement.

This will likely turn into a recurring article—as every few days I plan on confessing I am a Mets fan and how much it blows.

April 29^th 2010 – Today’s Confession… I Hate the Mets… (more…)

When it comes to the New York Yankees, baseball fans either love ‘em or hate ‘em.  There is no in-between.  Today I have a post on The Casual Observer titled “Why I Love the Yankees”, while Kosmo—the founder of The Casual Observer—will discuss why he hates the Yankees on this site.   While it pains me to posts this blasphemy written below, I will post it because it should strike up some good conversation.

Why Kosmo Hates the Yankees

Derek Jeter is overrated

OK, people, please put down the pitchforks.  I’m not suggesting that Jeter isn’t a fine player.  I’m not even suggesting that he’s not Hall of Fame caliber.  I’m just suggesting that he’s placed on a pedestal a bit higher than what might be appropriate. (more…)

Want to win an all-expenses paid trip to see the fastest two minutes in sports?  Today’s your lucky day! Buffalo Trace Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey is giving away two tickets to the Kentucky Derby, airfare for two, limousine transportation to the Derby and distillery, luxury hotel accommodations, a behind-the-scenes tour of Buffalo Trace Distillery and a private reception with Master Distiller Harlen Wheatley.  There are other great prizes being given out as well.  All you have to do to win is register here. 

In addition to entering for chance to win some great prizes, you’ll be helping me out.  The blog that gets the most registrations wins some nice prizes as well. It’s a win-win situation!

Even if horse-racing isn’t your thing, the site is still worth checking out—particularly their “bourbunnies” page.   Registration Ends on April 1^st so don’t hesitate!