I was attending a friend’s bachelor party recently, and like many bachelor parties, there were strippers involved. As expected, a naked woman eventually approached me, bent over in front of me and shook her bare ass in front of my face. Naturally, I milked this for as long as possible before placing a crisp dollar bill inside her g-string as a token of my appreciation.

As I wedged the dollar bill in between her underwear and her ass, something suddenly occured to me: STRIPPERS ARE UNDERPAID.

How did I come to this realization? Allow me to explain:

Since the beginning of strip clubs, strippers have been paid in dollar bills. The years have come and gone and little has changed. Inflation has gradually weakened the dollar and increased the cost of living, yet strippers continue to be paid in dollar bills. (more…)

A couple weeks have passed since my wedding day and the craziness is finally behind me. Now that I’ve had time to reflect on the whirlwind that was the past few months of my life, I’ve realized I’ve learned a whole lot. Now I will pass on what I’ve learned about weddings, both from the Bride and Groom’s perspective and from a guest’s perspective to you.

ADVICE FOR THE BRIDE AND GROOM

1. When it comes to gifts, some are extremely generous, some are unbelievably cheap and some are just plain weird.

2. Don’t waste all your money (or in my case, her father’s money) on an extravagant cocktail hour. You’ll likely be taking pictures the entire time and chances are you won’t even make it there. Don’t spend the $8 per person charge for the chocolate fountain because you probably won’t get a taste. (more…)

I’m getting married this week and that means I’ll be committing to one woman for the rest of my life—or does it? 

Like a lot of couples, my future wife and I have jokingly made a “cheat list.”  This cheat list contains a list of celebrities.  If by some chance we are presented with an opportunity to sleep with one of these five people, we are allowed to do so without any repercussions.

As part of the continuing wedding series, here is our official “cheat list.”  

Johnny Sacks’ List

Gianna Michaels
Gianna Michaels— an internet porn star—is not the hottest girl but she has amazing natural breasts and the biggest ass I’ve ever seen on a white girl.  That’s not even the reason why she’s on this list.  Go to YouPorn, search for Gianna Michaels, watch one of her videos for five minutes and then come back (pull your pants up first).  This girl gives a blow job like she needs dick for sustenance.  (more…)

Deep within this post, I’ve hidden a NSFW picture of an attractive Hispanic woman with a large ass.  I’ve decided to tease you with a silhouette of her abnormally large backside.  If you want to see the picture you’ll have to view some links from my friends first. (more…)

It’s time for a special edition of one of my most popular features: Random Guys I Want to Punch in the Face. Since I’ll be getting married in a few weeks, I thought I’d do a special edition dedicated to the people involved in planning a wedding (This will be the first of a number of wedding-related posts this month, so be sure to look out for those).

As anyone who has ever gotten married can confirm, the process of planning a wedding can be a very stressful experience. Whether it’s dealing with vendors, struggling with financial issues, trying to calm down a bridezilla or countless other unforeseen problems, the wedding process is sure to leave you aggravated at some point. Here are a few people I’ve wanted to punch along the way.

The “You’re Next!” Guy
This is a warning for any recently engaged couple. For any wedding you attend during your engagement, be prepared for at least 30 people to remind you that you are the next couple to get married. This usually comes from distant cousins and friends you haven’t seen in ages, who can’t think of anything else intelligent to say to you, while you stand around drinking cocktails. “HEY GUYS!! YOU’RE NEXT!!”

Thanks for the tip, Cousin Whose Name I Can Never Remember! I wasn’t sure how the Christian calendar worked. So July comes after May? Good thing you reminded me!

This number increases exponentially with each wedding you attend. So just be prepared to laugh it off, while deep down you’ll want to knock them the fuck out. (more…)

For a little more than three weeks each month, I’m engaged to a wonderful woman who makes me very happy.  But for one week each month she turns into a terrible monster—like a werewolf when a full moon is out—and she no longer resembles the person I’m going to marry.  The week she gets her period, my girl becomes a shell of her former self and turns into a frightening creature that crushes everything in her path.

This is often an unpleasant experience for the both of us.  Everything I do annoys her, which results in her yelling at me, which in turn gets me pissed at her for getting mad at me for no reason.

But FEAR NOT! Through trial and error, I’ve learned ways to take down this monster—like a stake in the heart of a vampire.  Practice these methods listed below and you can escape the Period Monster’s evil clutches. (more…)

A lot can be learned about the life of porn stars just by following them on Twitter.  Tons of adult film stars tweet on a regular basis. After following a number of porn stars- including Jenna Haze- Just a Guy Thing has learned a thing or two about their lives. It’s an entertaining article that is definitely worth checking out.

Other Great Links:

10 Most Revealing Poker Tells Muff Slap
12 Steps to Awesomeness- Late Night Munchies Campus Socialite
A Car with Emotions Bloke Buddy
7 Reasons to Break up with a Girl COED Magazine
21 Cute Girls with Ice Cream Regretful Morning (NSFW)
3 Flametards Show Burning Ambitions The Lamest
Video Games that Every Gamer Should Play Campus Socialite
20 Ridiculously Sexy Latinas For Cinco De Mayo Regretful Morning (NSFW)

Funny Tweets (more…)

If you’re a white guy with a thing for black women, than you are in luck.  A recent story by the Washington Post revealed that marriages between black women and white men are on the rise.  According to a 2008 population survey, interracial marriages have doubled over the past decade.

So why is this becoming more commonplace? According to the story, black women are in “market failure.” Single black women with college degrees outnumber single black men with college degrees almost 3 to 1 in major urban areas.  These women are having trouble meeting a black man who meets their standards.  Therefore, they are giving up on tradition and looking outside their race for a mate. (more…)

Tits and Ass. Two of men’s favorite things. They belong together like peanut butter and jelly.  Some men are lucky enough to be with a woman who can turn heads in any direction.  However, what if you could only have one? Would you rather be with a girl with a perfect rack and a flat, dumpy, cottage cheese ass, OR would you rather have a girl with a beautiful, round ass and the chest of 12-year old? Frank Wheeler and I debate the issue in the Great Debate. (more…)

HBO’s Curb Your Enthusiasm is known for making light of some the most subtle and awkward social situations. In a new series, I’ll take a memorable scene from the genius mind of Larry David and break it down even further. Today’s edition is from the season seven episode titled “The Bare Midriff.”

Take a look at the clip below.

EDITORS NOTE: Since posting this clip, it has been removed from youtube. I’ve been unable to find another clip. You’ll just have to imagine a fat girl in the clip whose belly is hanging out.

The bare midriff is a fashion faux pas that I see way too often during the warm summer months. A woman loses a few pounds and thinks she is sexy enough to flaunt her slightly-less flabby stomach. This can be a disturbing image that will send men running. Often this can be coupled with the infamous “muffin top” look to form a deadly combination. (more…)