Tits and Ass. Two of men’s favorite things. They belong together like peanut butter and jelly.  Some men are lucky enough to be with a woman who can turn heads in any direction.  However, what if you could only have one? Would you rather be with a girl with a perfect rack and a flat, dumpy, cottage cheese ass, OR would you rather have a girl with a beautiful, round ass and the chest of 12-year old? Frank Wheeler and I debate the issue in the Great Debate. (more…)

HBO’s Curb Your Enthusiasm is known for making light of some the most subtle and awkward social situations. In a new series, I’ll take a memorable scene from the genius mind of Larry David and break it down even further. Today’s edition is from the season seven episode titled “The Bare Midriff.”

Take a look at the clip below.

EDITORS NOTE: Since posting this clip, it has been removed from youtube. I’ve been unable to find another clip. You’ll just have to imagine a fat girl in the clip whose belly is hanging out.

The bare midriff is a fashion faux pas that I see way too often during the warm summer months. A woman loses a few pounds and thinks she is sexy enough to flaunt her slightly-less flabby stomach. This can be a disturbing image that will send men running. Often this can be coupled with the infamous “muffin top” look to form a deadly combination. (more…)

The Peanuts comic below was in the paper this Valentine’s Day. Even on Valentine’s Day, poor Charlie Brown can’t get any love. That Lucy is one cruel bitch. This is much worse than pulling the football out from under him. (more…)

This is a guest post from Brad Wellen over at the Campus Socialite.  If you like this column you can reach him through email at bradwellen[at]precioustimeny[dot]com or follow the Campus Socialite on Facebook or Twitter. 

In the land of raunchiness and filth, Urban Dictionary is king.  Whether you are on the prowl for the trendiest new curse word (see: gunt) or an out of this world sex move (see: Swedish Periscope), the UD is the only place to go.  In my morning Internet rundown, there are really only 3 or 4 sites that I absolutely must visit: first is obviously The Campus Socialite, next is ESPN.com, third is Asscafe.com (gotta stay up on the new video content), and the fourth has to be Urban Dictionary.  Between their “Word of the Day” feature and their hilarious use of terms in sentences (i.e. “Chuck Norris once uppercutted a horse, we now call that animal a giraffe”), Urban Dictionary is the only place to go when looking to expand your mortifying vocabulary.  To commemorate a site that would even make Hollywood’s most foul-mouthed actor (Samuel L. Jackson) proud, The Campus Socialite presents the best definitions of Urban Dictionary.

 WARNING: Much of the content below is not safe for the work environment. (more…)

The month of February features a holiday in which a bunch of hicks in Pennsylvania look to a rodent for weather predictions. Yet Groundhog Day is still not the dumbest holiday in the month of February. That honor belongs to Valentine’s Day.

Now I am not one of those angry, lonely people who get bitter every Valentine’s Day because I can’t get laid. I’m engaged and I still hate the holiday!

So why do I think Valentine’s Day is one of the dumbest holiday’s ever? Here are a few reasons…

IT’S AN ARBITRARY DATE
February 14th has no significance to me. Nothing special has happened on this date. No one I know was born on this date. It’s not our anniversary. The U.S.A. didn’t storm the beaches of Normandy on February 14th. So why should I care? There’s no reason to celebrate. Valentine’s Day has as much significance to me as Arbor Day. So how did Valentine’s Day come about? Why is it on February 14th? (more…)

Super Bowl XLIV features two of the football’s best quarterbacks: Peyton Manning and Drew Brees. It  also features two of the sexiest WAGs: Kim Kardashian, (girlfriend of New Orleans Saints running back Reggie Bush) and Kendra Wilkinson (wife of Indianapolis Colts wide receiver Hank Baskett). COED Magazine leaves the decision up to you and gives you some great NSFW photos to help you decide. Personally I’d take Kim Kardashian.

Other Great Links
Sharapovas Thigh has a list of annoying things less annoying than Super Bowl week

aaand some more Super Bowl stuff. Here are some great prop bets you can wager on this Sunday from Muff Slap

The Campus Socialite has an interview with a beautiful model from Arizona State named Courtney Sheber

ESPN 2’s DJ Gallo has a hilarious piece called Mr. Manners

Just a Guy Thing has some advice on how to meet more women

In the 2001 movie Training Day, academy award winning actor Denzel Washington, plays a crooked cop who owes money to the Russian Mob. In one of the final scenes, when Denzel’s life is in danger, he utters one of the most famous movie lines in recent history saying, “I run shit here, you just live here!…King Kong ain’t got SHIT on me! (see clip below)

In the world of relationships, make no mistake about, Women run shit. Men just live here.   Most men claim to wear the pants but in actuality all women control the relationship. 

Despite the best efforts of women, we are still a male-dominated society.  Women still make less money than men on average, males hold more high-level jobs and women are continually portrayed as sex objects on television. (For the record, I’m not saying this is how it should be, these are just facts).

However, once the man enters a long-term relationship, those inequities no longer apply because women hold the one key that tips the relationship scale in their favor…THE VAGINA. Despite the best efforts of George Constanza and other men, we have no upper hand, because if we do anything wrong, the woman will withhold entry to the best place on Earth.  For this reason, men always have to make a conscious effort to be on their best behavior. (more…)

Sharing your home with a woman presents a number of challenges. As someone who just recently began doing this for the first time, I am discovering new challenges every day. Perhaps the most daunting task I’ve faced is completing a perfect run to the supermarket. 

As the man, you are often the one sent to the store to pick up some groceries for dinner. To the distant observer this would seem like an easy task, however, it is far from it.  Since moving in with my fiancé, I’ve been sent to the store dozens of times and I have yet to complete the perfect supermarket run.  Whether it’s forgetting something, buying the wrong brand or picking out bad fruit, I always mess something up.

The pressure mounts with each trip to the market.  I know if I screw something up I am either getting yelled at or sent back to the store…or both.  As I’m browsing the aisles, the tension grows.  Even the most basic items turn into a guessing game for me. This is my thought process for about every item on the list… (more…)

This is the final edition of LwB’s Best of the Decade posts. The other two, Funniest TV Characters and Funniest Movies, can be viewed by clicking on the appropriate link. 

In this final edition we have the Sexiest Music Videos of the Decade.  These videos from the past decade have caused men to drool continuously for four minutes at a time.   

Click on the title to view the video in a new window… (more…)

A recent University of Montreal study on the effect of pornography on young men ran into a roadblock when it could not find a single male who hasn’t watched porn.

This should come as a surprise to no one.  ALL MEN watch porn.  I bet those “saintly” Duggar kids even watch it.  They just won’t admit it. 

The researchers wanted to compare the views of men in their 20s who have watched porn compared to those who haven’t.  Since the researchers could not find a single male for the study, they decided to focus their research on the effects of pornography.  (more…)