I’ve been a big fan of the Fox hit “24” since its inception.  However, ever since season 5 the show has been in a steady decline.  That being said, I still watch it every week.  Perhaps it’s because there are so many things to mock on this show.  Whether it’s Elisha Cuthbert being chased by a Mountain Lion or CTU getting infiltrated for the 50^th time, there is never a shortage of ways to poke fun at 24.

The transcript below is an actual impromptu AIM conversation I had with my buddy DV.  Only the screen names and the numerous spelling mistakes by DV have been changed. SPOILER ALERT!!! If you haven’t seen last night’s episode, DO NOT READ THIS!

John S (12:06:18 PM): yo. Did you watch 24 yesterday?
DV (12:10:36 PM): yup
DV (12:10:39 PM): ridiculous
DV (12:10:59 PM): I should make a graph showing 24’s decline
John S (12:11:03 PM): I love how jack just brushes off the stab wound
DV (12:11:15 PM): he got stabbed in the abdomen!
DV (12:11:28 PM): right in the center of the gut!
John S (12:11:29 PM): and less than 5 minutes later he was running around
DV (12:11:47 PM): and he’s like 60 years old!
John S (12:11:49 PM): hahaha
John S (12:11:53 PM): that’s true!
John S (12:12:03 PM): did you see the previews?
DV (12:12:07 PM): yes
John S (12:12:15 PM): now he’s gonna get tortured too
John S (12:12:30 PM): I’m sure that’ll affect him for like 15 minutes
DV (12:12:44 PM): maybe he’ll die again
DV (12:12:52 PM): and they’ll bring him back to life
John S (12:13:00 PM): and he’ll save the world 30 minutes later
DV (12:13:44 PM): right now the show is a trifecta of terrible
DV (12:14:02 PM): acting/writing and production
DV (12:14:47 PM): let’s start with acting… can we figure out a better way to show 2 people have a relationship instead of a pragmatic pause and then a long embrace?
DV (12:15:11 PM): do you know the part I’m taking about?
John S (12:15:23 PM): no
DV (12:15:43 PM): i forget the names but the foreign dude’s daughter and the body guard
John S (12:15:45 PM): wait at the end when jack and renee hug?
DV (12:15:54 PM): oh that was a second piece of hot garbage
DV (12:15:58 PM): at least they didn’t kiss
John S (12:16:01 PM): haha
John S (12:16:15 PM): the head of CTU is an awful actor
John S (12:16:26 PM): and I can’t stand the douche who sexually harasses everyone
DV (12:16:30 PM): the only person that would have done a worse job is forrest witticker
DV (12:16:34 PM): or however you spell his name
John S (12:16:37 PM): haha
DV (12:16:50 PM): yeah that’s ridiculous
DV (12:16:58 PM): the sexual harassing guy around the office
John S (12:17:07 PM): he’s a tool
DV (12:19:02 PM): one of the best things is the stereo typical German glasses Jack has been wearing
DV (12:19:06 PM): are you kidding me?
DV (12:19:19 PM): I’m german look at my glasses!
DV (12:24:20 PM): you know what’s also ridiculous?
DV (12:24:30 PM): this relates to Jack’s glasses
DV (12:24:39 PM): like seriously I want to yell.. NARC!
DV (12:24:53 PM): as he is walking around with all the Russian Mafia guys
DV (12:25:10 PM): you’d think he’d try to be a little more gangster
John S (12:25:32 PM): I guess it’s like the 24 version of Superman
John S (12:25:40 PM): you just put on a pair of glasses and everyone thinks you are someone else
DV (12:25:52 PM): yeah but Clark Kent does things to put on the persona
DV (12:26:02 PM): well.. superman
DV (12:26:10 PM): Superman is the real man
DV (12:26:15 PM): Clark Kent is the disguise
DV (12:26:21 PM): when he’s clark kent he acts different
DV (12:26:30 PM): he’s a nerd
DV (12:26:37 PM): he’s clumsy
DV (12:26:57 PM): super nice
DV (12:27:03 PM): low key
DV (12:27:10 PM): when Jack put on the glasses
DV (12:27:16 PM): he acted like jack bauer
John S (12:27:23 PM): thats a good point
John S (12:27:43 PM): I wonder if Superman could get stabbed in the abdomen and just patch it up with a gauze pad
DV (12:27:51 PM): well yeah he could
DV (12:27:58 PM): unless it was kryptonie
DV (12:28:04 PM): kryptonite
John S (12:28:09 PM): true
DV (12:28:18 PM): which is also why the Superman Returns movie is terrible
DV (12:28:38 PM): through the end of the movie he’s flying around with a piece of kryptonite in his side
DV (12:29:06 PM): then picks up an island made of kryptonite and lifts it off the planet and out to space
DV (12:29:15 PM): sorry… NO.
John S (12:29:27 PM): yeah I never saw it. but that sounds ridiculous
John S (12:29:30 PM): I’m glad I missed it
DV (12:29:53 PM): sorry I ruined the opportunity to be disgusted.
John S (12:30:51 PM): I probably wasn’t gonna see it anyway
DV (12:31:32 PM): I had this idea for 24 to save the franchise
DV (12:31:57 PM): if fox reads this I’m willing to be brought on board to make this happen
DV (12:32:06 PM): basically 24 is flat.
DV (12:32:30 PM): there’s only so much you can have jack go “damn it” and only so many types of torture you can show on national tv
DV (12:32:39 PM): now it’s hard to pull a show of national TV
DV (12:32:42 PM): so here’s my proposal
DV (12:32:48 PM): you create a second show
DV (12:32:54 PM): call it …
DV (12:32:58 PM): 24: Overtime.
DV (12:33:10 PM): air it on HBO or Showtime
DV (12:33:24 PM): start it midseason of 24
DV (12:33:31 PM): at hour 6 or
DV (12:33:33 PM): 10
DV (12:33:46 PM): have it centered around a different character
DV (12:33:50 PM): but it’s the same day
DV (12:33:53 PM): from a different point of view
DV (12:34:03 PM): and you can show all the stuff you can’t on national TV
DV (12:34:08 PM): and curse and hit the emotions better
DV (12:34:20 PM): key example… when jack was double crossed 2 weeks ago
DV (12:34:30 PM): he was not believable when talking to the dude on the phone
DV (12:34:37 PM): I would have been like you think you can F with me
DV (12:34:44 PM): you’re F’n dead you hear me
John S (12:34:48 PM): that sounds like a great idea
John S (12:35:04 PM): I’m on board if Elisha Cuthbert is willing to get naked on camera
DV (12:35:08 PM): and the shows would cross
DV (12:35:23 PM): haha why not!
DV (12:35:25 PM): she’ll do it
John S (12:35:34 PM): probably
DV (12:35:36 PM): she’ll be blown away by the idea
DV (12:35:42 PM): and immediately take off all her clothes
John S (12:36:12 PM): no one take her seriously as an actress anyway
DV (12:36:25 PM): it’s true.
John S (12:37:54 PM): although the episode was ridiculous, I’m still gonna watch it next week
John S (12:38:13 PM): jack ripping out the knife and tossing it in that guys head was pretty bad ass
DV (12:38:47 PM): it was
DV (12:39:00 PM): and I will watch next week as well..
DV (12:39:11 PM): but I’m numb to a lot of that stuff
DV (12:39:23 PM): it doesn’t impress me anymore
DV (12:39:40 PM): they are using video game rules in 24 now
DV (12:40:03 PM): jack stabbed? ok press x and use the first aid kit.
DV (12:40:06 PM): health back to full
John S (12:40:10 PM): hahahah
John S (12:40:16 PM): thats not new for Jack
John S (12:40:24 PM):he had a cracked rib all last season
DV (12:40:24 PM): yeah but each year it gets worse
DV (12:40:38 PM): they used to have that stuff play through the whole season
John S (12:40:38 PM): an hour later he stopped holding his side
DV (12:40:52 PM): one season he got hurt and it was an issue all season.
DV (12:40:57 PM): early on
John S (12:45:47 PM): yeah I think you’re right. I forget which season that was though
DV (12:46:42 PM): Season 2 I know they carried something through
DV (12:47:06 PM): season 1 they paid attention to that little stuff
DV (12:47:13 PM): each season they did less and less
DV (12:47:42 PM): season 1 they were a little more attentive to the timing of things
DV (12:47:58 PM): even though a lot of it was improbable… it wasn’t horrible
John S (12:48:15 PM): that’s true. They have gotten away from that
DV (12:48:19 PM): yup
DV (12:48:27 PM): and they don’t effectively use the split screen anymore
DV (12:48:45 PM): they used to show multiple angles of one scene
DV (12:48:57 PM): but that probably cost too much money
DV (12:49:14 PM): ok.. I’d like to close out this review of 24 with this one note…
DV (12:49:43 PM): It’s amazing how New York City resembles Southern California
DV (12:50:12 PM): in the premier there’s an awesome shot of the top of a palm tree in an ally
DV (12:50:20 PM): like a small one.. you don’t see the whole thing but you see part of it
DV (12:51:11 PM): well played 24… well played.

If this goes over well, we will do this again…Or perhaps will even do a podcast if I can figure out how to do that.