A few years ago there was this great sports blog called Fire Joe Morgan–you may have heard of it.  This was a site founded by three baseball fans that would find awful examples of sports writing and then proceed to make fun of it.   

The site was brilliantly written and was one of my favorite sites to go on.  It was later revealed that the founders of this blog were actually writers for NBC’s “The Office” and “Parks and Recreation.” Unfortunately, their work responsibilities outweighed their blog responsibilities and they gave up writing for the blog in 2008.

Fast forward to September 2010.  A sportswriter named Johnette Howard decided to write this piece of garbage on ESPN.com about the New York Jets.  Since FJM is no longer around, I am going to try and do my best FJM impression on this article titled: The downside of Rex Ryan’s Bluster.  Her words are in bold. (more…)

Back in August, I wrote a post called Random Guys I Want to Punch in the Face.  That post has turned out to be, by far, the most popular piece of literature on this web site.  Therefore, I thought I’d give the people more of what they want.  Here are more random people I want to punch in the face. 

THE I GET AWAY WITH USING THE “N” WORD IN FRONT OF BLACK PEOPLE BECAUSE I’M HISPANIC GUY
I work in an urban area of NYC with a population comprised of mostly African-Americans and Hispanics.  Everyday of my life I hear a Spanish guy use the “N” word. IN FRONT OF BLACK PEOPLE—and no one even bats an eye.  SERIOUSLY?  Why do they get a free pass on the word?  If I even whispered the “N” word, Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson and 30 members of the NAACP would be protesting outside my doorstep.  Why are black people ok with this?  Can someone explain this to me? 

THE DEVELOPERS OF MICROSOFT OFFICE 2007
Hey I got an idea! Let’s take software that everyone in the world uses and make it completely fucking different.  Let’s change the way it looks so no one can figure out how the fuck to find anything!  THEN let’s make it incompatible with the old version so everyone who still has Microsoft Office 2003 can’t OPEN ANY ATTACHMENTS!  If I had a dime for every time I had to reply to an email with a DOCX attachment asking the person to convert and resend it, I could have bought out Bill Gates by now.  Where did they get these retards? The Katherine Gibbs School?  I’d like to lay these worthless bastards out.

(Note: Recently they finally added a plugin to make it compatible—I still fucking hate it though) (more…)

Dating advice from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, hot chicks and their ugly friends and advice on how to get your girl to like football are just a few of my favorite links from the past week. Check it out. (more…)

OMG you guys! Fire Joe Morgan is back for one day only on Deadspin! If you are not familiar with Fire Joe Morgan, then you’ve been missing out. Firejoemorgan.com was a web site created in 2005 that was devoted to mocking bad sports journalism. The blog took off but the guys decided to stop writing in 2008. Turns out two of them are writers for NBC and just didn’t have the time to do it anymore.

Anyway they are making a one day appearance on Deadspin. If you are a big baseball fan you MUST check this out. This article is definitely my favorite. Be sure to check out the others as well.