I fly a lot for work. I’m not proud of it. I don’t fly First or Business class. I’d have little to complain about if I did. Things look pretty nice up there.

But back here, on a five-hour flight, many perils exist. If you do this once or twice a year, it’s no big deal – you forget any inconveniences almost as soon as the trip is over. But if your company tries to convert you into a routine business traveler – do yourself a favor and put in a transfer request for the mailroom.

The mail room guys don’t get paid too much – it’s true. But on the other hand, they are never forced to overnight in a Motel 6 with paper thin walls, kept up all night by the traffic from I-95 and the incessant racket caused by the drunks and prostitutes (more on this below).

Seating Area

A person who gets zone 2 on his boarding pass might think: “This isn’t so bad, there’s only one zone ahead of me”. Untrue. There can be as many as seven zones ahead. Consider United Airlines: First class goes (surprise!) first. Then 1K status. Then Premier Platinum, followed by Premier Gold and Premier Silver. Next come the cripples, then the deaf and blind, followed at last by women with small children. (more…)

After nearly a year lay-off from his LWB debut, Oobstastic is back…

Just finished watching the Social Network…

When the trailer was out, I thought this was bound to suck. I continued to believe this until my Dad saw it and told me how good it was.

I asked him, “Dad, what makes it so good? Isn’t it just about a stupid goddamned website?”

“No, son”, he said. “It is an exploration of the dynamism inherent in American society, as well as an assessment of the permanence of traditional class structures.”

He did not actually say this. That was my interpretation. What he actually said was: “You’ll laugh when you see what a bunch of useless assholes those Winklevoss twins are.”

So what about the socio-cultural analysis? It’s in there. The film, and by extension the real-life story, features the same sorts of fascinating characters that F. Scott Fitzgerald or Tolstoy might have invented.

Let’s start with the lawyers. The actual vehicle for conveying the plot is a series of deposition hearings which take place in fancy, wood-paneled law offices. Not only was this a clever move from a screenwriting perspective, but it served to immediately impress upon the viewer what worthless tools litigators can be (sorry, litigators).

The partners are old, vaguely unattractive, pedantic, condescending – and most importantly, an accessory to the plot. They don’t make anything happen. They simply: (more…)

This is a post from new contributor known only as Oobtastic. He will likely contribute from time-to-time.

We all know the economy is in a shambles. One in ten people that want work can’t find a job. The government passed a $700B stimulus package to create jobs, but where are they?

There is another, more troubling crisis plaguing our country: Actors are squandering any artistic credibility they have by doing shampoo commercials and voice over work for credit card companies.

I have a plan that will solve BOTH important crises. It’s a piece of legislation, called the “Helping Americans Land Jobs in Television” Act, or HALJIT (every good piece of legislation needs an irritating acronym).

How would this bill work? It’s simple – it would prohibit actors, musicians, professional athletes and other celebrities from doing advertising work, while at the same time mandating that unemployed machinists, truckers, carpenters, and road pavers be given those jobs instead.

“Whoa, there, wait a minute,” you might say. “I don’t know if I’m comfortable with this.”

This is a natural reaction. But after reading this simple overview, you will be eager to press your Congressional representatives into supporting this legislation. (more…)