The Supermarket Run Always Ends in Failure
January 4, 2010 | Posted by Johnny Sacks 
Sharing your home with a woman presents a number of challenges. As someone who just recently began doing this for the first time, I am discovering new challenges every day. Perhaps the most daunting task I’ve faced is completing a perfect run to the supermarket.
As the man, you are often the one sent to the store to pick up some groceries for dinner. To the distant observer this would seem like an easy task, however, it is far from it. Since moving in with my fiancé, I’ve been sent to the store dozens of times and I have yet to complete the perfect supermarket run. Whether it’s forgetting something, buying the wrong brand or picking out bad fruit, I always mess something up.
The pressure mounts with each trip to the market. I know if I screw something up I am either getting yelled at or sent back to the store…or both. As I’m browsing the aisles, the tension grows. Even the most basic items turn into a guessing game for me. This is my thought process for about every item on the list…
OK, she wants milk. Did she say 1 percent, skim milk, half-and-half? Crap. I forgot. Which one do I get? If I fuck this up, not only will I have wasted money but I’ll get yelled at again… I wish this old lady in front of me would move her damn cart out of the way. God I hate this place.
Figuring out exactly what she wants is like taking the SAT’s. I try and eliminate at least one choice and then make an educated guess. Sometimes I guess right but most of the time I’m wrong.
Sure, women will claim we just don’t listen when they talk and that’s why men always screw it up. I say the real fault lies with the woman. You know we don’t ever listen, so don’t expect us to just magically get everything you need. Write down specifically everything you need. Don’t just write milk, bread, eggs, juice etc. Get more specific! I want the name, brand, size, flavor, serial number, everything. That will decrease the chance of me screwing it up. The other option, of course, is to just go get yourself. That’s probably the best solution.
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Categories: Relationships, Women | 
Tags: Relationships, supermarket run, Women | 
8 Comments »
Just mess it up on purpose several times in a row. Then she will go because she doesn’t trust your “dumb” a$$ and you can stay home and play Playstation 3 in peace. …….and they think we’re dumb.
It’s already too late for that one. I know that trick! His job as fiance/future husband is to make random trips to the supermarket. He did a good job last night picking up a few things. I even sent him the SKU #!
going to the store is womens work, send her ass to get the stuff while you get stoned and play video games, it works for me just fine.
@Thomas, what makes you think us women don’t send you off so we can sit around and get stoned? Maybe it’s just me who does that. And that’s probably why Im divorced.
.-= HaterVonG´s last blog ..Playoff Picks, Wild Cards. =-.
I remember the first time I ever bonded with my father-in-law– it was over being set up for failure by being sent to the supermarket by your female partner.
“Yes, Judie will send me to the supermarket for deliberately obscure things like pimento olives or dark molassas, and I’ll invariably come home having forgotten something, and she’ll yell… but, we’re still married.”
.-= Mr. Apron´s last blog ..Blog of the Month =-.
haha Apron. That’s the other problem. She always puts some type of food or spice I’ve never even heard of before. There’s little chance I bring the right thing back in that situation.
I solved this problem years ago. I left a notepad on top of the fridge. If we run out, or are running low, instructions have been left to WRITE IT DOWN. I come home from work on Wednesdays (the major shopping is done on the weekends) pick up the list and off I go. Not on the list? Not my problem. Go get it yourself, or wait till the weekend when we get everything else. Either way, I’m not listening to complaints, and I’m not going.