Tits or Ass? The Great Debate
March 2, 2010 | Posted by Johnny Sacks 
Tits and Ass. Two of men’s favorite things. They belong together like peanut butter and jelly. Some men are lucky enough to be with a woman who can turn heads in any direction. However, what if you could only have one? Would you rather be with a girl with a perfect rack and a flat, dumpy, cottage cheese ass, OR would you rather have a girl with a beautiful, round ass and the chest of 12-year old? Frank Wheeler and I debate the issue in the Great Debate.
JOHN’S ARGUMENT FOR TITS
I love a great ass, don’t get me wrong—but your options in the bedroom are limited with a nice ass. There are so many things you can to do a nice pair of tits. You can squeeze them, suck them, slap them, lick them, bite them, you can motor-boat them, you can even fuck them! Then when you’re done you can lay your head down and rest on them. All you can do with an ass is slap it. There are a couple other things you 
can do with an ass, I suppose, but I’m not into that.
Tits are a blessing from God. A nice pair of REAL tits are a gift that can’t be earned. A woman with a flat ass can still improve it if she heads to the gym regularly and does lots of squats. Just take a look at any Olympic athlete. Cleary working out has given them a fine backside. When it comes to breasts however, woman can’t increase their size without surgery.
I’d love to have a nice ass to go along with a great pair of boobies but there’s NO WAY I’d trade it for a flat chest. I need at least a handful. There’s something so visually appealing about seeing a big, round pair of titties flop around during sex. You just can’t get that with small breasts. When you consider that, more often than not, you’ll be having sex in the missionary or cowgirl position (most girls can orgasm easier on top), it only makes sense to have a girl who has a nice rack.
Just look at the funbags on Carmella Bing. They’re real and they’re SPECTACULAR. I’d glady take a flat ass to have these beautiful breasts in my face every night. How can there be a debate?
FRANK WHEELER’S ARGUMENT FOR ASS
It’s completely unexplainable. I am so uncontrollably drawn to a rotund, fat ass and it cannot be rationalized. But the fact remains: I care so much more about a nice butt than I do about big breasts. I’ll do my best to try and justify this below:
The Shape of a Long Back: Something about a girl who looks more like the letter V than an hourglass turns me off. Picture those girls who wear bikini’s and the bottom piece is literally hanging down her hips because she has nothing to keep them up. Now look at the picture to my left. Large hips and a round ass spark a carnal rage in me that rivals Seth Rogan’s in The 40 Year Old Virgin. I don’t care how large she is up top – if she isn’t filling out the bottom portion of that bikini, I’m looking in another direction.
It’s Scientific, Baby! This point is not as obvious and may be harder to prove, but bear with me. We as human beings have one purpose in life: to procreate. That is why men literally think about sex during 80% of their daily mental exercise (estimated). 80% of my entire day is spent thinking about sex! That means when my fellow female employees are talking to me, I only hear 20% of what they’re saying. Since large hips, and consequently a big butt, are so vital to a woman’s fertility and ability to bear children we are subconsciously drawn to women with fat asses. I like breasts but the ass does something else to me: it enhances my drive to procreate. Suck on that!
You Ever See a Spanish Chick Dance?: I like breasts. I do. But they’re for teenage boys who stay up late searching cable TV for nudity (Gia, you were my favorite late HBO movie!). But did you ever see a Hispanic woman dance? C’mon boys, you know what I’m talking about. Those hips move in ways you didn’t think were possible. My jaw drops when I watch this. Look at Shakira in that cage! And I know some people hate on Beyonce for the Single Ladies video, but she moves that ass better than some girls move it their entire lives. And notice one thing: they both do not have large chests. And it DOES NOT matter. Beyonce brings me to tears when I watch her in that video. Nas beat you Jay-Z, but you got the last laugh since you have the hottest chick in the game wearing your chain.
Lastly John – a nice ass can’t be gained at the gym. Rather, it can be maintained and groomed whereas tits become all saggy and wrinkled as women get older. My woman will work out the rest of her life, and her ass will always be banging.
So what do you think? Where do your loyalties lie? Tits or Ass? Talk about it!
The Great Debate is a feature where we discuss two opposing viewpoints on a topic men are interested in. Think of it as an Op-Ed piece, only we don’t talk about anything serious.
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Categories: Sex, Women | 
Tags: Carmella Bing, Frank Wheeler, Kim Kardashian, the great debate | 
31 Comments »
Franky, Perhaps I am still a teenage boy trapped in a 27-year olds body. I play video games, have action figures and I’m still obsessed with breasts…
And Shakira is the exception to the rule. Her body is so ridiculous I’d be happy with her “small and humble” breasts.
BUTT over Tits!…and I agree that breasts are more for the teenager looking for quickie nude shots. Breats are FINE!….they cerainly do not get ingnored, “but” the butt holds the key to your (and their) future!
Great butts hold up better than a great “top” rack!
Okay I’m a woman and I have to admit I get turned by women’s tits.
So tits for me! ;p
.-= The Mercurial Wife´s last blog ..Unwanted Guests =-.
*on
.-= The Mercurial Wife´s last blog ..Unwanted Guests =-.
I need a big pair of natural hangers. What I need are tits that hand straight down and then stick out from the stomach. I need those big grandma tits.
I need a big pair of natural hangers. What I need are tits that hang straight down and then stick out from the stomach. I need those big grandma tits.
Ass. Girls with no ass bug the hell out of me.
Then again, I love my ass and my breasts, so I gotta have both, I think..
.-= Magpie´s last blog ..Good Luck, Bad Luck =-.
There’s a reason it’s “T & A” folks…Tits are first and foremost. I notice a gal in this order: Tits, face, tits, hair, tits, teeth, tits, and tits.
I generally get around to looking at her ass when she gets up to go to the bathroom; even then, unless it’s GINORMOUS, it’s not a deal-breaker. It would be nice if it was bangin’ but I’m not complainin’ if it’s average. Usually, in order to get a nice natural rack, you have to put up with a little junk in the trunk anyway. BONUS!!!
By the way, If they are bigger than a ‘C’ cup you have to call them boobs. Trust me…
Wow… highly enjoyable. I honestly thought it’d be all tits votes. I’m your average Latin American girl sporting a B cup and… plumpness in the back. I like my body. It’s very feminine, and yes, I’m inclined to say a nice ass is what I’d prefer if I were a dude. or into girls. But I find boobs very very fun as well.
.-= Juliana´s last blog ..A Clockwork Orange =-.
Juliana…it sounds like you and Frank Wheeler would really hit it off.
yes, and i’m sure he lives somewhere i’ve never been.
.-= Juliana´s last blog ..A Clockwork Orange =-.
Tits without a doubt, there’s so much more you can do with them, they’re so much fun.
I’m a big pervert so for me it’s everything, I love tits, big solid but pert tits oiled and slapping in your face, and really an ass just the same, because thats all an ass is really another pair of tits withought the nipples, and yes i like to lick the butt hole, Mariah carey has the perfect body, so does Sophie howard, shame Mariah is a dick head
As I grow older I find that I appreciate a great ass more and more everyday. Fuck Tits!
If they are big enough, Dildo, you can…
What are you tit people smoking? Get basic: Tits flop around while ass gyrates on demand. What is between boobs? Sternum. What’s between the cheeks? Makes you go ‘hmmm’…
Ass, all the way. Tits are GREAT but ass wins the day hands down. No pun intended. Nice tits but noassatall makes her feel like she’s missing something.
Ass definitely, but I love playing with tits too.
As a side note, amd I the *only* man left that PREFERS a traditional “muff” down below instead of shaved, trimmed, or landing strip pubes on a female? Something about the whole “shaved” thing just seems so…sterile…or something.
Johnny Sacks – that would make a great topic here on LWB.
Tom,
Not a bad idea for a post. Though I think you are probably in the extreme minority on that one.
Probably a minority but maybe not as extreme as you’d think. I can philosophize more if you make it a post.
Enough of a minority, however, that finding an otherwise acceptable girl who sports, or is willing to sport, said unshaven pubic region, is about as difficult as seeing Kanye West on TV *NOT* acting like a douchebag.
hahaha very true. These days its rare to see a girl who isn’t shaved or trimmed.
I just think chicks should feel they have a “choice.” It’s not as if I turn down a shorn or trimmed woman.
When I’ve asked girlfriends to stop shaving, they weren’t refusing because of what I or other men would think, rather, what their own girlfriends would say.
Think about this – look back at movies like Porky’s, Revenge of the Nerds, etc. “Bush” wasn’t only tolerated, but celebrated! Why did something so beautiful and sought-after suddenly become “gross” and “unclean” sometime in the mid 1990s?
You can say what you want about a nice ass dancing. Somehow I think these people never saw some big boobs going wild on the dance floor.
I agree about the bush. I trim a little but definitely don’t shave, and think shave looks prepubescent. It’s not even attractive evolutionarily – hair means you’re a fertile woman! and you’re so much more prone to infections if you shave too.
Also, ass all the way. Tits are amazing too but if they’re too big they look awkward. And I’d certainly prefer a pear-shaped body to a V-shaped body.
both….cant decide but probably tits more